Provo's BEST Kept Secret? This Hotel Will Blow You Away!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into the supposed "BEST Kept Secret" in Provo. I'm talking about the hotel they claim will "blow you away." Let's just say, after my visit, I've got a whole lot to say. This ain't your cookie-cutter review; this is my unfiltered Provo hotel experience. So, grab your coffee (or your whatever-you-need-to-get-through-this-thing), and let's go!
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Title: Provo's "BEST Kept Secret" Hotel: Did It Actually Blow Me Away? A Messy, Honest Review!
The Arrival: Accessibility and First Impressions (or, "Can I Actually Get In Here?")
Okay, first things first. I'm a sucker for a smooth entry, especially when it comes to accessibility. And here…well, it was mostly smooth. Let's break it down.
- Accessibility: The hotel claims to be accessible, and they've got some of the basics down. Elevator: check. Wheelchair accessible routes to common areas… mostly check. Accessible rooms: I didn't personally stay in one, but they say they have them. Curb cuts: present. But I noticed a slight issue in the main entrance: a slightly narrow doorway and a slightly awkward ramp angle. Nothing major, but definitely something to be mindful of if you have mobility issues. I’ll have to go into deeper detail on the wheelchair accessible rooms.
- The Look: The exterior felt a tad… understated. Not necessarily bad, but definitely not the "wow" factor I was promised. The lobby, however? Much better. Polished surfaces, a chic welcome desk, and enough natural light to make you feel like you haven't fully escaped the Utah sunshine.
- Check-in: "Contactless check-in/out?" They have it. Efficient? Yes. Friendly? Uh, let's just say the staff seemed more… efficient than effusive. The first staff member was a bit… flat. It felt a bit robotic, which is a trend I'll mention again later.
The Room: A Confession of Comfort (and a Few Quirks)
My room? Okay, this is where things started to get interesting.
- Available in all rooms: Yup, the usual suspects are there. Air conditioning: definitely welcome in Utah. Alarm clock: check. Bathrobes: soft and cozy. Coffee/tea maker: essential. Daily housekeeping: thank the sweet baby Jesus. Desk: yes. Free Wi-Fi: which I'll delve into later, but – yes. Hair dryer: yep. In-room safe box: convenient. Ironing facilities: because wrinkles are the enemy. Laptop workspace: got it covered. Mini bar: present, tempting, and expensive. Refrigerator: useful for keeping drinks cold and not just "room temperature." Satellite/cable channels: fine, but let's be honest, you're probably not there to watch TV. Seating area: nice to have. Shower: worked fine. Toiletries: standard. Wi-Fi [free]: absolutely, yes.
- The Bed: Honestly? One of the most comfortable hotel beds I've ever slept in. Pure bliss. The sheets were ridiculously soft. I may or may not have spent a solid five minutes just rolling around in it, pretending I was a particularly pampered kitten.
- The "Quirks": The bathroom was a bit… minimalist. Clean, sure, but a bit lacking in character. Also, the lighting was suspiciously dim, which is not ideal when you’re trying to apply makeup or, you know, see what you're doing.
Wi-Fi Woes and Internet Intrigue
- Wi-Fi [free]: Yes, technically free. And available. However, and this is a big however, I had some serious connectivity issues. The Wi-Fi was consistently slow. Streaming? Forget about it. Video calls? A lag-fest of epic proportions. So much so, I wanted to ask them for a refund. They also had Internet [LAN], which is great if you're technologically inclined.
- Internet Services: The hotel, again, says they offer great internet services, and I saw some Internet access locations. They also have Wi-Fi in public areas, which you'd hope would be reliable.
- Business facilities: It sounded good. They have Business facilities: but, if you're relying on a strong internet connection for work, you might want to reconsider.
Dining and Drinking: A Tale of Two Restaurants (and a Poolside Bar)
The hotel boasts a few dining options. Let’s be real: this is where things became a bit… complicated:
- Restaurants: They have some. We're talking Restaurants, featuring American cuisine, International cuisine.
- Asian Cuisine: I kept hearing about it, but I kept being recommended other options in the area.
- Breakfast [buffet]: This was fine. Standard fare. The scrambled eggs leaned heavily towards the pre-cooked variety. The bacon was… not terrible. The coffee was borderline adequate. Breakfast service was available, but it was standard. I was underwhelmed.
- The "Better" Option: I did, however, find a much better experience: the A la carte in restaurant was also available. Although the menu was small, I was really happy about the meal when I was finally in the restaurant.
- Poolside Bar: This was the highlight of my dining experience. The drinks were strong, the view was fantastic, and I could actually relax. The Poolside bar also has Happy hour, a lifesaver.
- Room service [24-hour]: Convenient, but you pay for the convenience. Also, my order was a little… cold.
- Coffee/tea in restaurant and Coffee shop: Present.
Things to Do and Ways to Relax: The Spa and the Pool… Or Not?
- Swimming pool: I was excited about the pool. It's described as having a "view," which I really wanted to experience. The pool itself was lovely. The view… well, let's just say it benefits from a healthy dose of optimism.
- Pool with view: Okay, the view wasn't spectacular, but it was pleasant.
- Spa: This is where things got mixed up. They have a spa. The menu of services boasted things like Body scrub, Body wrap, Massage, Sauna, Steamroom, and Spa/sauna. However, when I tried to book a massage, it was booked solid for days. So, technically, they have a spa. In practice, getting a treatment was… challenging.
Cleanliness and Safety: The Sanitization Shuffle
- General Cleanliness: The room was clean. I have to give them that.
- Anti-viral cleaning products: Check, they say.
- Rooms sanitized between stays: They claim it.
- Staff trained in safety protocol: Seemed like it.
- Cashless payment service: Present.
- Safe dining setup: Seemed pretty safe. The same goes for the Sanitized kitchen and tableware items.
- Hand sanitizer: Everywhere.
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: Mostly.
- Daily disinfection in common areas: They do claim it.
- Sterilizing equipment: Apparently, they have it.
- Room sanitization opt-out available: Unclear.
- First aid kit & Doctor/nurse on call: They’ve got it.
Services and Conveniences: A Mixed Bag
- Concierge: The concierge was helpful, but not particularly memorable.
- Gift/souvenir shop: Present, but overpriced. A few trinkets and some pretty generic Utah-themed stuff.
- Elevator and Doorman: Present.
- Dry cleaning, Ironing service, Laundry service: Available, but expensive.
- Daily housekeeping: Thank goodness.
- Car park [free of charge]: Yes. Always a win.
- Concierge: They have it.
- Babysitting service: If you need it, they have it, but I didn't personally use it.
For the Kids: Family-Friendly or Family-Slightly-Annoyed?
- Family/child friendly: The hotel claims to be.
- Babysitting service They do.
Getting Around: Basic Transportation
- Airport transfer &
Okay, here's my attempt at a gloriously messy, human, and opinionated travel itinerary for Fairfield Inn & Suites Provo Orem, Utah. Buckle up, buttercups. This is gonna be a ride.
Fairfield Fiasco: Provo-Orem Edition - A Pilgrimage of Pizzazz (Maybe)
Day 1: Arrival and Existential Dread in Comfort Mode
- 1:00 PM: Touchdown at Salt Lake City International Airport (SLC). Okay, first hurdle: getting out of this airport. I swear, it’s designed as an endurance test. The people mover, the endless corridors… I'm pretty sure they added a third dimension (up) just to make things more complicated. Finding the rental car, then the drive south… Ugh.
- Emotional state: Mildly irritated. Hungry. Wondering if I brought enough snacks. (Spoiler alert: I didn’t.)
- 2:30 PM: Realize I forgot to pre-download enough podcasts. Sigh. Okay, gotta ration that witty British podcast I love for the drive. The Utah landscape is… well, it's Utah. Red rocks, big sky. It's a bit overwhelming, honestly. Like, nature decided to flex.
- 3:30 PM: Arrive at the Fairfield Inn & Suites Provo Orem. Check-in. The front desk person is… enthusiastic. Maybe a little too enthusiastic. I swear they're all auditioning for a motivational speaker role. Room seems…fine. Standard hotel room stuff. The air conditioning is cranked to arctic levels, so I immediately shove my jacket in the closet.
- Quirky observation: The artwork in the hallway is… abstract. I stared at a vaguely geometric blob for, like, five minutes trying to figure out if it's a commentary on modern society or just a really bad painting. Still unsure.
- 4:00 PM - 5:00 PM: The "Settling In" phase. Unpack, assess the hotel coffee situation (grim), and fight the urge to nap. My brain is already plotting a swift descent into vacation mode, but my body is all, "Hold up, buddy. We gotta be cultured."
- 6:00 PM: Dinner. Okay, the reviews I read for this local pizza place are… mixed. "Best pizza in the world!" vs. "Tastes like cardboard and disappointment." I'm rolling the dice on this one. Wish me luck.
- Emotional reaction: Anxiety. Fueled by pizza reviews. I am a sensitive soul, okay?
- 8:00 PM: Pizza Report: The pizza…was not the worst, but not the best. Definitely no fireworks. Needed more garlic. I ate the whole thing anyway, because, vacation. Netflix and chill in the hotel room; I'm too lazy to go out.
Day 2: The Day of the "Hike" (and Possibly, Regret)
- 7:00 AM: Ugh. The complimentary hotel breakfast. The scrambled eggs look suspiciously yellow. I'm already feeling a vague sense of dread. Coffee, though, is essential. I get ready for the hike.
- 8:00 AM: The infamous Y Mountain hike. Okay, "infamous" might be a slight exaggeration. But I heard it's a must-do. It's supposed to be "easy." Famous last words, right?
- 9:00 AM - 11:00 AM: The Hike. Oh. My. Quad. "Easy" my foot. It was mostly uphill. I thought I was relatively fit, but by, like, the halfway point, I was questioning all my life choices. The views were pretty spectacular, though. Mountains, sky, the giant "Y" on the mountain (which, by the way, is a huge waste of time to see in person). I made it…mostly. My legs, however, may never forgive me.
- Messy ramble: Okay, picture this: me, sweating like a water buffalo, gasping for air, and occasionally mumbling, "This is why I hate exercise." I saw a small child skip past me. A child. I started contemplating eating my own shoe. I met some nice college students who seemed to think I was having a grand old time. I wasn't. It was hard. But the view was amazing. The struggle was real. I think I had a moment where I connected with mother nature and then promptly lost it when I realized how much farther I had to go.
- Opinionated language: Screw you, Y Mountain. I'm glad I did it, but I'm also never doing it again.
- 12:00 PM: Lunch is a burger, because I earned it. The burger was delicious and I didn't care if it was healthy.
- 2:00 PM: More Netflix. My legs are screaming. Time to recover.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner. The reviews for the local Mexican place are promising. I'm choosing to believe them.
- 7:00 PM: Margaritas. Needed.
Day 3: Church (Maybe?) and Retail Therapy
- 9:00 AM: Sunday, so, church. I wasn't sure if I was going to, but maybe.
- 10:00 AM-1 PM: Retail therapy. I spend too much money.
- 4:00 PM: Early departure for the airport.
Final Thoughts:
This trip was… an experience. The Fairfield Inn was fine; it was clean, the staff was nice, and the breakfast was… well, it was there. Provo-Orem is an interesting place. The Y Mountain hike almost killed me, but the views were worth it. The food was whatever, but the margaritas were great. I'm exhausted, but it was a fun trip. Would I go back? Maybe. After a long, long break. And maybe with a massage booked in advance. And definitely not with the expectation that any hotel breakfast will ever truly impress me.
Waldorf's BEST La Quinta Inn? (Shocking Reviews Inside!)
So, spill the tea! What *is* this "Best Kept Secret?"
Alright, alright, I'll spill. Apparently, there's this hotel in Provo... and frankly, the name's a secret too. But *everyone* who's been there raves about it. Think "hidden gem," but, like, really hidden. Supposedly, it’s got impeccable service, luxurious rooms, and a vibe that screams "forgotten paradise." I've been trying to wrangle an invitation for ages. You'd think with all the word of mouth, it wouldn't be a secret at all!
Okay, but *why* is it a secret? Are we talking Witness Protection Program level secrecy?
Haha, not *quite* that intense. My theory? It's either a) REALLY small and exclusive, or b) they have the best marketing team ever. Perhaps they're going for a cult following? The whole "if you know, you know" thing. It's clever, I'll give them that! But honestly, the mystery's what’s got me hooked. I'm picturing a swanky, underground speakeasy of a hotel. Or, you know, a really nice motel with good landscaping. Either way, I'm intrigued.
Fine, but what's *actually* good about it?! Besides keeping it a secret.
Okay, from what I've *heard* (key word: heard!), it's all about the details. People are obsessed with the rooms – plush beds, killer views, and bathrooms that are practically spa-like. One friend, let's call her Brenda (because I always use that name), insisted the sheets felt like "clouds of pure angel dust." She's prone to exaggeration, but Brenda's standards are high, so, it still says something.
I've also been told the service is top-notch. Apparently, the staff anticipates your every need. Need a chamomile tea at 3 AM? Boom, it’s there before you can even think about it. That kind of service, that's the stuff dreams are made of.
Okay, so, sounds amazing. What's the catch? 'Cause there's *always* a catch.
That's the million-dollar question, isn't it? Here's my list of probable drawbacks:
- **Price:** If it's as amazing as people say, it probably costs a small fortune. I'm guessing, the price will feel like a punch to the gut.
- **Availability:** "Best kept secret" usually means "booked solid." Good luck getting a room. You probably need to know someone who knows someone.
- **The "Secret" factor:** Part of me wonders if the secrecy is overblown. Maybe it's just *really* good, but not world-altering.
- **Brenda’s Exaggerations:** Seriously, angel dust sheets? I love Brenda, but let's reign the hyperbole in, girlfriend.
But honestly? Even if the catch is a hefty price tag, I still want to go. The lure of a truly amazing, well-kept secret is just too strong. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little bit jealous.
Have *you* been? Spill the *real* tea!
Ugh, no. *This* is where the bitterness creeps in, folks. I'm on the *outside* looking in. I'm the Charlie Bucket of Provo hotels, forever dreaming of that golden ticket. I've been trying, I've been networking, I've been practically BEGGING people to invite me. Nothing. It’s a conspiracy, I tell you! Perhaps the hotel owners are reading this and are laughing at my desperation. Maybe they hate me! Honestly, I'm starting to wonder if it *actually* exists. Maybe it's a collective hallucination. Or maybe I am just terribly uncool.
Okay, okay, deep breaths. If you *did* get in, what’s the *one* thing you'd be most excited about?
Oh, easy. Besides the sheets of angelic fluff? The freaking *food*. One person whispered about a restaurant with "culinary masterpieces" and a wine list "that could make a grown man weep." WE ARE TALKING EPICUREAN PARADISE. See, I love food. More than I love breathing, I think. So, I'd probably spend the first three days eating my way through the menu. And then, you know, maybe *then* I'd explore the other aspects of the hotel. Maybe.
Is it worth the hype?
Honestly? I have no freaking clue. But the fact that I'm still talking about it, weeks after I first heard about it, and I desperately want to go? That's saying something. It's either a brilliant marketing ploy or truly, genuinely amazing. I'm putting my money on the latter. Even if it's just a really nice hotel, I'm in. The anticipation is half the fun, right? ...RIGHT?!
So, how can *I* get in? Spill the actual secrets in the end.
If I knew, I'd tell you! That's the problem. I've tried everything. Subscribing to every Provo newsletter, befriending every concierge, scanning every travel blog. I’m considering learning the secret handshake. Maybe I’ll just have to start building my own hotel, and make it even better. Who knows. Maybe you're reading this and *know*! If you do… call me. Please. And bring wine. And maybe, just maybe, we can unravel this Provo mystery together. Seriously, good luck. I need all the help I can get.
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