Beachwood Bliss: Your Dream Cleveland Getaway Awaits at Residence Inn!
Beachwood Bliss: My Cleveland Getaway…Was it Really Bliss? (Residence Inn Review - The Unfiltered Truth!)
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because I'm about to drop the REAL tea on the Residence Inn in Beachwood, Cleveland. Forget the brochure promises – this is the raw, unfiltered, and probably slightly cynical review you actually need before booking. Spoiler alert: it’s a mixed bag, like leftover Chinese food on a Sunday morning.
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Accessibility – Not Always Smooth Sailing
Okay, let’s get the accessibility stuff out of the way. Officially, Residence Inn Beachwood says they cater to accessible needs. And yes, there's an elevator (thank GOD), and some rooms are supposedly wheelchair-friendly. But the devil's in the details, right? While the common areas seemed okay – wide hallways, easy access to the lobby – I didn't have a chance to experience the accessible rooms directly, so I can only go by what I saw…and, you know, the feeling one gets. More on that later. (Accessibility: Yes, technically. Real-world implementation? Jury's still out.)
Food, Glorious Food (and the Occasional Disappointment)
Alright, food is where things got, shall we say, interesting. Breakfast was… well, it was there. Buffet-style. Think standard hotel fare: scrambled eggs that tasted suspiciously like they came from a carton, rubbery sausage, and waffles you could probably use as a hockey puck. (Breakfast [buffet]: Not horrible, not heavenly.) They did have a decent coffee machine, though, which saved the mornings. (Coffee/tea in restaurant: Coffee was a lifesaver.)
The Restaurant, however, was something else. With A la carte in restaurant and Buffet in restaurant, they had options. I opted for dinner one night. The Asian Cuisine in restaurant was my choice. I ordered the Pad Thai. And what I got was a culinary car crash. Seriously, it tasted like they’d dumped a whole bottle of soy sauce in it and then lit it on fire. I was so sad, I went back to my room with a bottle of water and a bottle of water only. (International Cuisine in restaurant: Hit or miss, lean towards "miss.") I heard they had a Vegetarian Restaurant. But I ran.
So, what about the "Bliss?" – Relaxation & Recreation
This is where the Residence Inn tried to shine. They've got a Swimming pool [outdoor] – looks pretty inviting in the pictures, let me tell you. I didn't hit the pool, because, well, Cleveland weather. But I did check out the Fitness center. It was…adequate. A few treadmills, some weights, and the lingering scent of other people’s sweat. (Fitness center: Not bad, but no luxury spa vibes.)
Spa/Sauna, there was a Sauna! Again, potential for bliss! I made my way in. The sweat wasn't to be, the Spa turned out to be the other option, the sauna, again. The Spa/Sauna looked, promising. You can tell I'm reaching here, looking for the positive.
I'm starting to realize, the "Bliss" part of Beachwood Bliss might be a tad overzealous. So, I decided to head out for a massage! At the hotel! Yes, at the hotel. I booked a Massage. It was good, not great. The masseuse was clearly new, but tried really hard and offered good, solid pressure. (Massage: Decent, but not a transformative experience.)
Cleanliness & Safety – A Modern-Day Worry
Cleanliness, in the age of…well you know, is paramount. The hotel seemed clean. They had all the signs: Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, and Staff trained in safety protocol. I’m sure it's all true, but there's a kind of lingering paranoia, right? I kept washing my hands and wondering if the maids really got every nook and cranny. (Cleanliness: Seemed good, but the inner germaphobe remained vigilant.) And the Hand sanitizer was plentiful, which I appreciated. The staff seemed to check all the hygiene boxes.
The Room Itself – My Temporary Home
The room! Ah, the room. Non-smoking, thankfully. Air conditioning? Yes, and appreciated, especially since it was summer! It was functional, not luxurious. They had the basics: Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Hair dryer, Coffee/tea maker, etc. [Internet access – wireless] worked okay (some moments where it just went to sleep, like me). [Free Wi-Fi] was included, which is always a bonus. (Available in all rooms: Good, but nothing spectacular.)
The Bathrobes were fluffy. The Shower was actually nice. Desk was good for doing work. Safe was great and useful.
Services and Conveniences – The Little Things
They had a Concierge and Front desk [24-hour] – always a plus. I didn't need them much, but it’s good to know they're there. (Services and conveniences: Standard hotel fare, nothing to write home about.) There was a Gift/souvenir shop, which I'll never understand. There were a few Business facilities in the Business center.
Getting Around – You're Gonna Need a Car
Let’s be real, you're in Beachwood. You're gonna need a car. They offer Car park [free of charge], so that’s a win. (Getting around: Car essential, parking easy.) They had a Taxi service.
For the Kids – Family-Friendly?…Maybe?
I didn’t bring any kids, but they seemed family-friendly. They had Family/child friendly. I saw a family with a baby, though. I think they have Babysitting service. and maybe did I hear someone mention something about Kids meal?
In Conclusion – Is Beachwood Bliss Actually Bliss?
Overall, the Residence Inn Beachwood is…fine. It’s a solid, dependable hotel. It may not be a five-star paradise, but it’s a decent place to crash, especially if you’re focused on getting work done or exploring Cleveland (once you get that car). The breakfast situation, the so-so restaurant… those were kind of a drag. The "bliss" factor is… questionable, perhaps? But is it worth the price? This is the kind of place that you don't hate, but you might not rave about. I’d stay again if I had to, but I wouldn't necessarily choose it. Think of it as a reliable friend – not exactly the life of the party, but always there when you need them. (Final Verdict: A solid, functional hotel, not a luxurious getaway. 3 out of 5 stars – with a sigh.)
Escape to Modesto: Your Perfect Stay at La Quinta Inn & Suites!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because this isn't your grandma's meticulously planned travel itinerary. This is… well, this is my attempt at a Residence Inn Cleveland Beachwood adventure. And trust me, it's gonna be a wild ride. Expect less "precise timing" and more "existential dread mixed with lukewarm coffee."
The Messy, Honest, and Possibly Slightly Deranged Residence Inn Cleveland Beachwood Itinerary
(Subject to change. Mostly because I'll probably forget half of it.)
Day 1: Arrival & The Great Cheese Pull Debacle
1:00 PM - Arrival. (Maybe. I'm terrible with traffic.) First, the drive. Always a joy. Hope I don't get stuck behind a minivan going 25 in a 45. Seriously, is that the unwritten speed limit of Ohio? Anyways, check-in. Hoping for a room that doesn't smell faintly of chlorine and regret. (Fingers crossed!)
1:30 PM - Settling In & the "Free Breakfast" Predicament. Alright, room acquired! Let the unpacking commence… which will inevitably involve me flinging my suitcase open and vaguely gesturing at its contents until I need something. Then comes the real challenge: the "free breakfast." I have this fear that it'll be the stuff of institutional nightmares. But hey, free is free! Maybe they'll have those tiny, individually wrapped muffins. I secretly love those. Don't judge me.
2:30 PM - Grocery Run & the Quest for Snacks. Gotta stock up on provisions. Which means a trip to the local grocery store. I'm envisioning this playing out like a scene from a disaster movie. "Will you be needing help with those groceries?" Oh, how I hope so. I'm notorious for buying too many snacks. Seriously, it's an addiction. I'm talking chips, cookies, maybe a pint of ice cream for… research purposes. (Don't tell my dentist).
4:00 PM - Beachwood Place Shopping Center. Sigh. Okay, I have to pretend I’m a sophisticated traveler for a little bit. Beachwood Place. I guess I'll wander around. See if I can find a decent cup of coffee or, you know, something remotely interesting. I’m already mentally bracing myself for the aggressive perfume spritzers at Bath & Body Works.
6:00 PM - Dinner & Possible Social Suicide. Dinner. The eternal question. Do I venture out, or do I succumb to the siren song of takeout? Trying to decide is like choosing between a root canal and a slightly less painful root canal. If I go out, it's probably local fare. (Is there such a thing as "local" in Ohio? Is anything original here?). If it's takeout? Pizza sounds good. Or maybe I'll be adventurous and try a new food… or not.
7:30 PM - The Great Cheese Pull Debacle. Back to the room. Order pizza. The real heart of the evening: cheese pull. (You know, that moment when you lift a slice and the cheese stretches… forever?). I’m going to document this with a photo, which I will inevitably post on social media. Expect blurry pictures, poorly lit, and a caption along the lines of: "Living my best life." Wish me luck. May the cheese be with you.
9:00 PM - Netflix & Regret. Netflix. Comfort food for the soul. Probably watch something terrible. Or some cheesy rom-com. Judgment is not welcomed. Then, I'm probably going to start to feel an emptiness that only a second helping of pizza can fill. Followed by a deep, and yet satisfying, pang of existential regret.
Day 2: Culture, Craving, and the Questionable Choice of a Museum
8:00 AM - Free Breakfast Round Two (The Sequel!). Okay, time for the "free breakfast" show, again. Did they have the tiny muffins? Did I get the eggs or the cereal? Is it edible? The eternal questions. We shall find out.
9:30 AM - The Cleveland Museum of Art: An Emotional Rollercoaster. Okay, so, a cultural undertaking. The Cleveland Museum of Art. I’m not a “museum person” per se. More of a “walk around, look confused, and wonder if there will be a gift shop” person. My reactions to art are generally along the lines of “Huh. That’s… a thing.” & "I can't believe I spent $25 on a postcard. But I NEEDED it!"
12:00 PM - Lunch & The Quest For A Decent Salad (Without Croutons!). Lunch. I'm craving something healthy, or at least, pretending I am. The salad dilemma. Will it come with a mountain of croutons? A dressing I hate? The suspense is killing me! And while I'm at it, do they cater to someone who isn't fond of croutons?
1:30 PM - More Museum, More Confusion, More Gift Shop. More museum time. I'll try to absorb some culture. I'll probably wander around aimlessly again. And then, the gift shop. Oh, the gift shop. This is where I really shine. It's a goldmine of touristy knick-knacks, and I will without a doubt leave with a souvenir that is far more exciting than it's supposed to be.
3:00 PM - The Akron Zoo. Yes, I know, Akron. It's a hike, and this is not what I meant to be doing today. But, you know, I love animals and that kind of stuff and I am basically a sucker for these things. I'll check out the monkeys and the giraffes. If they have the kind of exhibit where I can get close enough to lick the glass… I might lose my mind.
5:00 PM - Back to the Hotel, Snack Time is upon us! Back to the room, ready for snack-a-palooza.
7:00 PM - Dinner, Takeout edition. I will order from a different pizza place. This is research. Important, scientific research!
8:30 PM - Netflix, Again. This time, with more snacks. I'm thinking a movie this time, but I don't know yet. The evening will be consumed by the comforting glow of a screen. I'm fine with that.
Day 3: Departure & Residual Cheese.
- 9:00 AM - Another "Free Breakfast" Sacrifice. Last breakfast hurrah. Hope I can fit a muffin in my purse.
- 10:00 AM - Packing & the inevitable "Where did I put my charger?" Panic. The dreaded packing ritual begins. Trying to remember if any of my clothes are clean. Searching for the all-important phone charger (the key to staying connected to the world—or at least, to Netflix).
- 11:00 AM - Final Hotel Sweep & the Bathroom Assessment. One last look around the room. Did I forget anything? Then, the bathroom. "Did I leave a stray hair in the shower?" "Is there toothpaste on the mirror?" I hope not for the sake of the next resident.
- 11:30 AM - Checkout & the bittersweet goodbyes. Checkout! And off I trudge for another adventure.
- 12:00 PM - Drive Home & Existential Crisis, part 2. The drive home. Traffic. The overwhelming sense of… having done nothing. And yet… something. I saw the Cleveland Museum of Art, I ate pizza, I watched trash TV. Wasn't the vacation of a lifetime, but it was better than nothing. That's the best I can hope for anyway.
Final Thoughts:
This itinerary is more of a suggestion. It's a guideline. A loose framework for a journey filled with snack-induced euphoria, museum-induced confusion, and the ever-present existential dread. Embrace the messiness. Enjoy the cheese. And most importantly, try not to get too lost. Or maybe… get completely lost. Who knows, you might just find something interesting.
Tulsa Midtown Escape: Luxury & Comfort Await at La Quinta Inn & Suites
Beachwood Bliss: Your Dream Cleveland Getaway Awaits at Residence Inn! (...or does it?) A Messy FAQ
Okay, "Bliss"… REALLY? Is the Residence Inn *actually* a dream? My expectations are… low.
Alright, buckle up buttercup, because the "bliss" tagline is probably a tad ambitious. Let's be real, we're talking about a Residence Inn. It's not the Ritz, and it’s not trying to be. But! And this is a big but (and I cannot lie)… for a chain hotel in suburban Cleveland, it has its moments. Think of it like a reliable friend: not flashy, but always there when you need them. My expectations were also about as high as a limbo stick, and honestly? It exceeded them. Mostly. More on that later. Just keep that in mind.
What's the deal with the location? Beachwood, huh? Anything interesting there?
Beachwood. It's... well, picture perfectly manicured lawns, upscale shopping centers, and a general vibe of "I have my life together." It's a *very* different world than, say, a gritty dive bar in Ohio City. You've got Beachwood Place mall, for the shopping addicts. And restaurants galore. It’s convenient, I’ll give it that! Perfectly located. Though my *personal* dream isn't shopping for expensive scarves, there's definitely something to be said for the ease. I mean, you just *walk* to places! I'm a sucker for a walkable stay.. Just a five-minute walk away from the hotel is the Cheesecake Factory. I spent *way* too much on cheesecake. Worth it, though. No regrets. Except maybe the extra pounds.
The rooms… are they…clean? (This is a deal-breaker, people.)
Okay, deep breath. Yes. The rooms are clean. I’m a neat freak! I'm talking: no mystery stains on the carpet (thank God), fresh linens, and a bathroom that doesn't look like it's seen a frat party. I'm not gonna lie, I'm always a little paranoid in hotels. I bring my own Lysol wipes, just in case. But I didn't need them here. Everything seemed genuinely well-maintained. It's a Residence Inn, not a Motel 6. And for that, I'm eternally grateful. The cleanliness was almost *too* perfect. It felt…sterile, in a way. Like a surgical theater. But hey, clean is good, right? Right.
Breakfast? Free? And edible? Spill the beans!
Yes! Free breakfast. YES! And… mostly edible! Okay, so it’s not Michelin-star quality. Let's be realistic. But there's a solid continental spread: waffles! Oatmeal! Fruit (the oranges looked a little sad, ngl). And hot options like eggs and sausage. The eggs…they were the pre-made kind. You know the ones. Still, it gets the job done. I am picky about sausage, though. One time, the sausage was so dry… I swear, I almost lost a tooth. But the next day, it was fine! The coffee? Acceptable. Did the trick. So, yeah, free breakfast is a win in my book. Especially when you're on a budget. I mean, who doesn't love free food?
Tell me about the pool. Is it as depressing as hotel pools usually are?
The pool. Ah, the pool. Look, it's not the Four Seasons. It's indoors. The water was… lukewarm. I was expecting a freezing dip. But, you know, it does the job. It's clean. And there's a hot tub! I didn't swim, though. I am a coward. I prefer to stay to the side and judge everyone else's splashing. Okay, fine! I'll admit it. I was the person hiding in the corner, reading a book, and people-watching. The pool area felt a little… sterile, too. It lacked personality, if I'm honest. But hey, at least no one's chlorine overdosed, right?
What about the service? Are the staff friendly or a bunch of robots?
The staff! Okay, this is where things start to get…good. They were genuinely nice. Not the fake, plastic smiles you often get. They were helpful, accommodating. The front desk guy, let's call him Kevin (because I'm bad with names), was amazing. He fixed a little hiccup with my reservation *and* gave me a recommendation for a killer pizza place (Sirna's!). Kevin deserves a raise. And a medal. Everyone I encountered seemed genuinely happy to be there. Seriously, it makes a HUGE difference. It adds a layer of warmth to the whole experience.
Is there anything I should watch out for? Any hidden pitfalls?
Okay, a few minor things. The Wi-Fi was occasionally…spotty. Annoying when you're trying to work (or, let's be honest, binge-watch something on Netflix). Also, parking. While they have a parking lot, finding a spot can be a bit of a game, especially on weekends. One night, I had to walk around for a good ten minutes before I found a spot. It's not a huge deal, but it's something to be aware of. But honestly? Those are minor gripes. Really minor. Oh! And the elevators can be a little slow…I started taking the stairs. Good exercise. See? Tiny complaints!
Would you go back? (The ultimate question!)
Honestly? Yes. Absolutely. Despite my nitpicking – and believe me, I love to nitpick – I'd go back. It's a solid choice. It's convenient, clean, and the staff is lovely. It's not a “dream destination,” but it's a perfectly acceptable and comfortable place to bed down, especially if you're there for work or some shopping. And the Cheesecake Factory is right there! What’s not to like? Plus, I'd like to see Kevin again, and maybe I could actually make it in the pool next time! It may not be "bliss" in the purest sense of the word, but it's a pretty darn good option for Beachwood. I'd recommend it. Just don't expect fireworks. Instead, expect a reliable, comfortable, and generally pleasant stay. And bring your own snacks. Just in case.
Okay, so... what about the elevator? You mentioned that earlier?
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