Escape to St. Louis: Your Perfect Collinsville Getaway Awaits!
Escape to St. Louis: My Collinsville Getaway - It Wasn't Perfect, But It Was Definitely Something! (A Messy Review with Heart & Wifi)
Okay, so I just got back from a little escape to Collinsville, Illinois, specifically checking out this place called "Escape to St. Louis: Your Perfect Collinsville Getaway Awaits!" The name alone felt a bit… optimistic. "Perfect"? We'll see about that, sunshine. But hey, I went in open-minded, ready for a weekend of relaxation and maybe, just maybe, a delicious something to break up the monotony. So, here's the lowdown, warts and all, because let's be honest, "perfect" is just a unicorn farting rainbows (and who's ever seen that?).
SEO & Metadata Fuel Station (before we hit the road!):
- Keywords: Collinsville, St. Louis, Getaway, Hotel Review, Spa, Swimming Pool, Accessibility, Free Wi-Fi, Dining, Activities, Illinois, Weekend Escape, Travel Review, Hotel Safety, COVID-19, Sanitization, Family-Friendly
- Title (Revised): "Escape to St. Louis: My Collinsville Adventure - Did it Actually Live Up to the Hype? (A Honest Review)"
- Meta Description: A brutally honest review of "Escape to St. Louis: Your Perfect Collinsville Getaway." From the hopefully-accessible rooms to the questionable buffet and the (sometimes) functional spa, I spill the tea. Is a Collinsville escape worth it? Find out!
Right, Back to the Chaos…
First things first: Accessibility. Now, I'm not in a wheelchair, but I always appreciate a well-thought-out accessible setup. The website claimed to have facilities for disabled guests, and I did see an elevator (thank god, because the thought of climbing stairs after a buffet is terrifying!). The overall vibe seemed pretty okay on this front, but I couldn't give a definitive verdict without experiencing it firsthand. More like, they said they had it, so I'm tentatively optimistic.
Rooms & Amenities - Where the Adventure Begins (and Possibly Ends with a Comfy Nap):
My room? Well, the Air Conditioning was working! (Small victories, people). It had a desk, which meant I could occasionally pretend to work (shhh, don't tell my boss). And thank goodness for the Blackout curtains. Sleep is sacred, and the Illinois sun is relentless. There was Free Wi-Fi (thank you, sweet internet gods!), and there was even Internet access – LAN, for all of the old-school gamers out there. It was a Non-smoking room, which, considering my lungs are about as adventurous as a goldfish, that was a plus. There was also a hair dryer. Important! Always assess the hair dryer situation.
The Bathroom was standard, the Shower felt okay, the Toiletries were… well, they existed. Nothing to write home about. I did appreciate the Coffee/tea maker because, let's be real, caffeine is the lifeblood of any good vacation. Oh! And I saw an Ironing facilities, but I opted to remain wrinkled because that feels like more me.
Now, the Swimming Pool [outdoor]! This was a major selling point for me. Picture this: me, a frosty beverage, and a sun-drenched pool. The pool did look inviting, and there was a "Pool with view", though the view was mostly of other buildings. Still, for a midwestern hotel pool, it was definitely above average.
And get this: they had a Fitness Centre. I walked in, gave it a quick look, and immediately went back to my room to order room service. But it was there, and the Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, and Steamroom were also options for those that like that sort of thing.
Dining, Drinking, and the Buffet of Dreams (or Nightmares, Possibly Both):
Okay, the Dining situation was a bit… varied. They had a Restaurants (plural!), and one with Asian cuisine in restaurant! This was a HUGE selling point for me. They offered a Breakfast [buffet]. The Buffet in restaurant was where things got interesting. Let's just say the scrambled eggs resembled something that had been sitting under a heat lamp for an eternity. The bacon, however, was crispy! (small victories, again). I also had a bowl of soup, it was ok. I tried a coffee/tea in restaurant, and it was… coffee. They had a bar. I took advantage of the Happy hour. The Poolside bar was a nice touch. Also, I ordered a Bottle of water.
They had a few Restaurants, one offering Western cuisine in restaurant, which I skipped in favor of the Asian offerings. Also a Vegetarian restaurant, also skipped. If that doesn't sound like an indictment, I don't know what does.
The Room service [24-hour] was a lifesaver for late-night snack attacks.
Cleanliness & Safety - Can I Breathe Here Without Getting the Thing?:
This is where I started to breathe a little easier. There were signs of Anti-viral cleaning products, and they had Daily disinfection in common areas. I saw Hand sanitizer stations EVERYWHERE. The staff wore masks. There was Staff trained in safety protocol. The Rooms sanitized between stays and they offered Room sanitization opt-out available (that one made me slightly suspicious… were they… hiding something?!). They did have Sanitized kitchen and tableware items. I think the hotel really took the whole safety thing seriously.
This also extended to the public areas. There was CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property. And the thing that always makes me happy is the fire extinguisher in the hallway. I love, love, love, a fire extinguisher!
Services and Conveniences - The Stuff That Makes You Feel Like a King (or at Least, Not a Peasant):
They had a Concierge! A Dry cleaning/ laundry service. A Convenience store! The Daily housekeeping was on point, though they didn't touch my strategically-placed clutter (thank god/thank you!). The Cash withdrawal was a lifesaver, I'd forgotten to take out cash beforehand! They had a Luggage storage! I also took advantage of the Invoice provided and was happy that the hotel provided Currency exchange.
There were also Facilities for disabled guests, though, again, I didn't fully test them.
For the Kids - Because Everyone Needs a Break From Themselves
I don't have kids, but I did see some families, so it would appear the hotel is Family/child friendly. Also Babysitting service, which I don't recommend, really. Just hire a sitter, people.
Getting Around - Did I Really Need a Car? (Probably):
Parking was Car park [free of charge]! They even had some Car park [on-site]. So, yeah, that was easy.
The "Escape" Factor - Did I Actually Escape?
So, did "Escape to St. Louis" live up to its grandiose name? Well, no, not exactly. It wasn't a life-altering, earth-shattering getaway. It was a perfectly pleasant, mostly okay weekend. But honestly, sometimes that's exactly what you need. It had its quirks, its imperfections, and its questionable buffet choices. But, at the end of the day, I relaxed, I ate some (occasionally delicious) food, and I unplugged for a bit. And for that, I'd rate it a solid… 3.5 out of 5 stars. Would I stay again? Maybe. Would I run screaming back? Absolutely not.
Final Verdict: If you're looking for a no-frills, relatively safe, and sometimes-delicious escape in Collinsville, this might be the ticket. Just lower your expectations a smidge (and maybe pack your own breakfast cereal). And definitely, definitely check if they still have crispy bacon. That's a dealbreaker!
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Okay, buckle up, buttercup. This isn't your perfectly manicured travel Pinterest board. This is real life, at the La Quinta Inn & Suites by Wyndham in Collinsville, Illinois. And trust me, it’s gonna be a ride.
Travel Itinerary: Collinsville, IL – A Symphony of Suburbia (and Maybe Regret)
Day 1: Arrival and the Quest for Decent Coffee
- 1:00 PM (ish): Arrive at Lambert International Airport (STL). Thank the heavens for Lyft. The flight was… well, let’s just say the guy behind me snored loud enough to wake the dead. I feel like I've aged a decade.
- 1:45 PM: Check in to La Quinta. Honestly? It’s your standard issue La Quinta. Beige carpet, faint smell of chlorine, and a questionable framed landscape photo of… mountains? In Illinois? Okay. Anyway, the front desk guy seemed nice, bless his heart, but he also really wanted to talk about his fantasy football team. I nodded and smiled. I am a master of the passive office smile.
- 2:00 PM: The Real Battle Begins: The Coffee War. I'm a caffeine addict. This is crucial. The coffee in the room… let's just say it's best taken in small sips and with a large dose of hope. I ventured out. Google Maps promised a Starbucks. It delivered! But the line. Oh, the line! It stretched out the door, filled with people wearing matching yoga pants and an assortment of sad, tired expressions. It gave me a strong sense of deja vu.
- 3:00 PM: Caffeine secured! That venti iced latte (with… maybe a shot of espresso?) saved the day. I spent some time figuring out what exactly I'm doing in Illinois. This is a work trip, but also a weird, low-key family visit that I feel underprepared for.
- 4:00 PM: The room is good. They changed the towels as I asked for.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner. Decided against room service. I'll survive.
Day 2: The Gateway to… Well, Collinsville
- 8:00 AM: Breakfast at the La Quinta. (Oh, the horror! The buffet… it's a study in beige: beige waffles, beige scrambled eggs, beige… everything. The sausage looks like rubber. I bravely tried one bite. No regrets.
- 9:00 AM: I must have left the tv remote on.
- 10:00 AM: The work began. The presentation went… okay. I tripped over a word, and everyone looked at me.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch. More beige food.
- 3:00 PM: Finished the work day. I looked out the window. Nothing. Just a parking lot. A very, very large parking lot. I started contemplating going to this restaurant called "The Olde Spaghetti Factory." My coworker said that they have a "spaghetti boat" which is ridiculous and wonderful and a must-see. I started a mental list to keep me awake at night: What if the boat is too large to move? What if the boat is a boat? What if the sauce is bad? What if the boat tips over?
- 5:00 PM: I went to the Olde Spaghetti Factory. I ordered the spaghetti boat. It was… underwhelming. I have no advice.
Day 3: Trying to Find the Soul of Collinsville (and Not Get Lost)
- 9:00 AM: Another Breakfast. More disappointment.
- 10:00 AM: Check out. Leave the key here at the front desk.
Final Thoughts:
Collinsville, you are… interesting. I’m not sure if I found your soul, but I definitely found the La Quinta’s slightly disappointing breakfast buffet. Will I return? Maybe. Maybe not. Travel is messy like that. It’s filled with beige and existential questions and the occasional accidental shot of espresso. And sometimes, that’s exactly what you need.
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Is Collinsville, Illinois *really* worth the trip from St. Louis? Aren't there, like, other places?
Okay, deep breaths. I'm gonna be real with you. Yes. And no. Look, if you're expecting the glitz of The Arch or the constant bustle of Laclede's Landing, you're gonna be disappointed. Collinsville is... different. It's got its own vibe, its own *charm*. Think of it like that quirky aunt everyone has. She might not be the flashiest, but she's got the best stories and the most comfortable couch.
Listen, I went there expecting... well, *not much*. I figured, "Pizza, a park, maybe a rusty swing set." I was SO wrong. I stumbled upon a freaking *meteor crater* (okay, it's a park shaped like one, but *wow*). It's totally worth a day trip. Maybe two. Just don't expect Paris. Expect something…unexpected.
What's the best way to get to Collinsville? I don't like driving in the city.
Ugh, the driving. It's a beast, I get it. If you're picturing a smooth, scenic drive, think again! You're battling bridge traffic, aggressive drivers, and the existential dread of the Poplar Street Bridge.
Honestly? Your best bet is to DRIVE. Look at the Map, avoid rush hour. Just mentally prepare yourself. Bring snacks. Blast some music. Remind yourself that a delicious meal and a break from the city is your reward. There *might* be some public transport options, but frankly, figuring that out sounds like a personal circle of Hell.
Okay, I'm in. What's the *one thing* I absolutely HAVE to do in Collinsville?
Alright, hold onto your hats, because this is where things get *personal*. Forget the Gateway Arch. Ditch the fancy restaurants. You *absolutely* HAVE TO get yourself some onion rings at Wally's Restaurant and Bar. Don't even argue with me.
I'm not kidding. These aren't just onion rings; they're a religious experience. Crispy, golden, perfect. I'm getting emotional just thinking about them. The first time I went, I ordered a whole basket. I’m ashamed to say I ate the entire thing. The waitress, bless her heart, just smiled knowingly. "Happens all the time," she said. I swear, I saw a tear in her eye. This is a place where the only thing that matters is the food.
Okay, okay, other things are good too, such as the the Cahokia Mounds State Historic Site. But start with the onion rings, and the rest will follow. Trust me on this.
What about food besides onion rings? Any other recommendations?
Dude, Collinsville is a *foodie* place. Besides Wally's, which, again, *mandatory*, you have options. Do your research. There's supposed to be some pretty awesome barbecue. The Italian food scene is also surprisingly strong. My advice? Ask a local. They'll point you in the right direction, usually towards somewhere delicious, and maybe a little bit divey (in the best way possible).
Just...pace yourself. You'll want to try everything. Seriously. It's a delicious, delicious trap.
Is there anything for kids to do in Collinsville?
Okay, let's be honest. Collinsville isn't Disney World. But yeah, there's stuff. The parks are nice. There's the Cahokia Mounds (which, by the way, is incredibly impressive and probably kept me entertained for a good couple of hours).
If your kids are super high-energy, consider packing a kite, some bubbles, and letting them run wild. There's a certain laid-back vibe that's perfect for letting kids be kids. Just keep an eye on them, and maybe avoid the onion rings until they're, like, teenagers. (Kidding! Mostly.)
What’s the vibe like in Collinsville? Is it safe?
Vibe check: Relaxed. Friendly. Maybe a little bit…sleepy? It's not a bustling metropolis. It’s kinda quiet. It is safe.
I've always felt safe. Like, the kind of safe where you can actually, you know, *breathe*. Don't go wandering around at 3 AM, but generally, you'll be fine. It's the Midwest, people. We're nice here. (Mostly.)
Where should I stay if I decide to stay overnight?
Honestly, your options for lodging are a bit… limited. You kinda just have a handful of typical hotel chains. I’d scope out something comfortable, close to whatever you plan on doing, and affordable. Don’t expect a resort experience. Expect practical and maybe a hint of "vintage charm."
Okay, you've convinced me (maybe). Anything I should PACK?
Comfortable shoes, my friend. You'll be walking. And maybe a slightly embarrassed-looking face, because you'll be absolutely stuffed with onion rings.
Beyond that? The usual. Phone, charger, wallet, maybe a book. And your sense of adventure! This isn't a place for fussy travelers. It's a place to relax, explore, and maybe discover your new favorite onion ring. And definitely bring a camera. You never know when you'll see something amazing.
Seriously, what’s the *worst* part about visiting Collinsville?
Okay, real talk? The *worst* part is leaving. Seriously. After you've had those onion rings, after you've wandered through the park, after you've soaked up the small-town charm... you'll have to go back to reality.
Also? The traffic getting *out* of Collinsville can be a pain too. But that's a small price to pay for theHotel Near Airport
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