Denver Westminster's BEST Extended Stay? (Suites & Amenities Revealed!)
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this review is gonna be less "polished brochure" and more "unvarnished truth from a guy who just spent way too much time in a bathrobe." We're talking, 'real-person' review. No fluff, just the good, the bad, and the utterly ridiculous.
SEO & Metadata Snippets (Before we dive in the mess):
- Title: [Hotel Name] Review: Honest Thoughts, From Accessibility to Room Service Shenanigans
- Keywords: [Hotel Name], Hotel Review, Accessibility, Spa, Dining, Wi-Fi, COVID-19, Amenities, Luxury Hotel, [City Name], [Country Name], Family Friendly, Wheelchair Accessible, Fitness Center
- Meta Description: A brutally honest review of [Hotel Name], covering everything from accessibility and in-room Wi-Fi (the GOOD!) to the questionable decisions in the buffet line (the… interesting!). Real traveler experiences, opinions, and a healthy dose of snark.
Let's Get Messy:
Alright, here we go. This is my brain, basically, after a week of hotel life. So, buckle up, because the flow might be a little… dynamic. I'm reviewing [Hotel Name] and trying to cover everything, bless my heart….
Accessibility:
Okay, first impression: they say they're accessible. And… they mostly are. The elevators are good (important!), the ramps exist (double important!), but the devil is in the details. Like, the bathroom in my "wheelchair-accessible" room? A little tight. I'm not using a wheelchair, but I imagine turning around in there would be… athletic. And the door to the room? Felt a little heavy, honestly. This is a pet peeve! It's great to say you’re accessible, but let's go all the way, yeah? A bonus point, though, for the staff! They were super helpful, especially the guys at the front, always offering assistance. A for effort, B- for execution. Good job guys at the front!
On-site Accessible Restaurants/Lounges: Hmmm… Didn’t actually get to all the restaurants. My fault! But the ones I saw looked pretty solid.
Wheelchair Accessible: As mentioned: yes, generally, but check those bathroom measurements! And maybe ask if they have someone who's actually used a wheelchair to give the rooms the once-over. That would be a game changer.
Internet & Wi-Fi: The Lifeblood of the Modern Traveler:
- Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!: HALLELUJAH! And, praise be, it actually worked. Fast, reliable, enough bandwidth to stream… well, a lot of cat videos. Absolutely crucial.
- Internet: Okay, "Internet" is a bit broad. I'd say the Wi-Fi covered it.
- Internet [LAN]: Seriously though… who uses LAN anymore? Old school. Maybe I should check more carefully since the room seemed like a space ship.
- Internet services: Fine, great. No complaints.
- Wi-Fi in public areas: Also good. Easy to connect, worked well, nice!
Things to Do & Ways to Relax: Spa Day Dreams and Fitness Center Fiascos
- Things to do: Well, besides staring at my laptop and wishing I was on a deserted island? The hotel had a bunch of things.
- Ways to relax: This is where the hotel really shines.
- Body scrub & Body wrap: Tempting, but I chickened out. Next time.
- Fitness center: Alright, so, here's a confession: I’m not a gym rat. But I did wander in. The equipment looked decent, but… the soundtrack? Oh dear god. It was like a fever dream of terrible 80s power ballads. Seriously. "Holding out for a Hero"? I almost walked out. The pool with a view, however, was pure bliss.
- Foot bath: I didn’t use the foot bath.
- Gym/fitness: See above.
- Massage: Yes! I got a massage. It was glorious. The masseuse was amazing, and I almost fell asleep on the table. Money well spent.
- Pool with view: Spectacular. Honestly, probably the highlight of the whole stay. Picture this: clear blue water, sunshine, and a view that took my breath away. (This is probably the thing the hotel is most proud of)
- Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom: Didn't get around to it, but if the massage was any indication… probably amazing.
- Swimming pool: See above.
- Swimming pool [outdoor]: See above, again!
Cleanliness and Safety: COVID-19 and Beyond
- Anti-viral cleaning products: Good. Essential.
- Breakfast in room: Brilliant. Especially after… that night.
- Breakfast takeaway service: Useful.
- Cashless payment service: Yes.
- Daily disinfection in common areas: Yep.
- Doctor/nurse on call: Good to know, hopefully, I can avoid them.
- First aid kit: Present and accounted for.
- Hand sanitizer: Everywhere. Seriously, you could probably bathe in it.
- Hot water linen and laundry washing: Yep.
- Hygiene certification: Check.
- Individually-wrapped food options: Mostly.
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: Somewhat observed.
- Professional-grade sanitizing services: Checked.
- Room sanitization opt-out available: Not that I saw but not a big deal.
- Rooms sanitized between stays: Yes.
- Safe dining setup: Mostly.
- Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: Yes.
- Shared stationery removed: Good, probably.
- Staff trained in safety protocol: Yes.
- Sterilizing equipment: Yes, probably.
Okay, look, let’s be honest: the post-COVID safety protocols are… intense. But, hey, I appreciate them. Made me feel safe.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Buffet Battles and Room Service Revelations
- A la carte in restaurant: Yes, with a good variety
- Alternative meal arrangement: Good.
- Asian breakfast, Asian cuisine in restaurant: Yep.
- Bar: Yes, nice bar.
- Bottle of water: More than enough.
- Breakfast [buffet]: Okay, here it goes. The buffet. The legendary buffet. Okay, it’s not really legendary, but I ate a lot of it. The options were… vast. I’m talking, every kind of breakfast food you could imagine. And some you probably shouldn’t imagine at 7 AM. I may have overdone it. The pastries were the weakness. I am not proud.
- Breakfast service: Fine.
- Buffet in restaurant: See "Breakfast [buffet]". Prepare yourself.
- Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop: Yep.
- Desserts in restaurant: Yep.
- Happy hour: Yes, nice.
- International cuisine in restaurant: Yes.
- Poolside bar: Perfect.
- Restaurants: Several.
- Room service [24-hour]: Listen. 24-hour room service is a necessity. Especially when you accidentally eat too much at the buffet (see above). I ordered… a lot. The club sandwich was on point. 5 stars.
- Salad in restaurant, Snack bar, Soup in restaurant: Fine.
- Vegetarian restaurant: I did not see one but I didn’t have time.
- Western breakfast, Western cuisine in restaurant: Yep.
Services and Conveniences: The Little Things that Matter
- Air conditioning in public area: Yes.
- Audio-visual equipment for special events: Probably there, I don't care.
- Business facilities: Fine.
- Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Contactless check-in/out, Convenience store: All there.
- Currency exchange: Useful.
- Daily housekeeping: Yes.
- Doorman: Yes.
- Dry cleaning, Elevator, Essential condiments: Yes.
- Facilities for disabled guests: As mentioned above.
- Food delivery: Yes.
- Gift/souvenir shop, Indoor venue for special events, Invoice provided: Yes.
- Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meeting/banquet facilities: Yep.
- Meetings, Meeting stationery Yes.
- On-site event hosting, Outdoor venue for special events: Yes.
- Projector/LED display, Safety deposit boxes: Yes.
- Seminars, Shrine, Smoking area: Yes.
- Terrace, Wi-Fi for special events, Xerox/fax in business center:
Alright, buckle up, buttercup, because this isn't your sanitized, perfectly-scheduled itinerary. This is me, navigating the concrete jungle (well, suburban jungle) of Westminster, Colorado, from the slightly questionable comfort of Extended Stay America. And let me tell you, it's gonna be a ride.
Extended Stay America - Denver - Westminster - Day 1: Arrival and the Joy of Questionable Carpeting
- 1:00 PM: Arrive at Denver International Airport (DIA). Ugh, the sheer scale of that place! My soul almost withered under its oppressive hugeness. Finding the rental car took, honestly, way too long. The only thing saving me was the sheer, unadulterated, I-need-a-coffee-ASAP joy of finally having a car, and the memory of the delicious craft beer I was going to have soon.
- 2:00 PM: Drive to Extended Stay. Let's be real, it's not the Ritz. But hey, it has a kitchenette and the price was… palatable. The exterior looked okay-ish. The parking lot, however, was a swirling vortex of minivans and questionable characters.
- 2:30 PM: Check in (and promptly get lost finding my room). The elevator groaned like a dying beast. And… the carpet. Oh, that carpet. Let's just say it's seen things. I’m not sure what they are but I’m sure there’s a story. Settling in. Unpacking. Mentally preparing for the adventures ahead… and also, for some reason, an overwhelming urge to burn off the potential germs from the carpet with a flamethrower (I DON’T have a flamethrower. I guess).
- 3:00 PM: Snack Time! Raid the in-room "kitchen" for the emergency bag of chips and that suspiciously old instant coffee I packed. Considering the state of the carpet, I felt I won this round.
- 4:00 PM: A brief excursion to the local grocery store – King Soopers. Needed actual food. The aisles were a delightful assault on the senses. So many options! So many brightly colored boxes! I emerged victorious, armed with enough provisions to survive a zombie apocalypse (or at least the next 24 hours).
- 5:00 PM: Attempt to work (I wish). The hotel Wi-Fi is… well, let's just say it's got a personality of its own. It's like a grumpy cat in digital form. I managed to upload a few emails and after some screaming.
- 6:30 PM: Dinner at a local brewery. Oh, the blessed relief of a cold beer! A burger. And the sweet, sweet noise of people chatting. It was a real escape from the beige monotony of the hotel. I almost forgot about the carpet. Almost. This place called, "The Rock Rest of Westminster", had a pretty decent menu and the servers were friendly.
- 8:30 PM: Back to the Extended Stay. The TV is on. Is this real? Are the walls closing in? Am I trapped? No to all of these things. After a quick scan of the room, I decide I don’t want to think about that carpet, and I watch a movie.
- 11:00 PM: Sleep. Or attempt to. The hum of the refrigerator and the occasional siren from the street makes this hard.
Day 2: Red Rocks, Regret, and Rocky Mountain High (Slightly) - The Day Everything Went Sideways
- 8:00 AM: Wake up (finally). The air outside is clean and crisp. It's beautiful, though. I’m still not sure I like the carpet.
- 9:00 AM: Drive to Red Rocks Amphitheatre. Holy moly. Seeing Red Rocks is the sort of thing you think you know, and then you get there, and it’s just… glorious. I mean, the sheer scale. The red rocks themselves are like ancient, sleeping giants. I spend an hour just wandering around, slack-jawed, taking a million photos (because, well, Instagram). This is where I had my epiphany: this place is awesome, and I needed to move here.
- 10:00 AM: After strolling around. So, I'm getting cocky. I decide to climb up for a better view. Bad idea. I’m wearing the wrong shoes, and while I think I can handle a gentle incline, I’m not exactly mountain goat material. Tripped. Scraped my knee! (And, admittedly, maybe lost a little dignity).
- 11:00 AM: Visit the Red Rocks Trading Post. Buying a souvenir. It's mandatory, right? I get a Red Rocks t-shirt that will now forever remind me of my near-death (okay, dramatic, but you get the idea) experience on the rocks.
- 12:00 PM: Lunch at a highly-rated (but ultimately disappointing) café in the Red Rocks area. The food was bland. The service was slow. I left feeling… meh. And a little sad that my Red Rocks euphoria was slightly tainted.
- 1:30 PM: Drive back to Westminster. The traffic back was… well, it was traffic.
- 2:30 PM: Back to the hotel. This time, the carpet seems even more… menacing.
- 3:00 PM: I suddenly get the urge to go to the local cinema and watch a movie. But I’m too afraid that the carpet will follow me. I watch TV.
- 5:00 PM: I decide to try the hotel's exercise room, which includes a view of the parking lot. I do some stretches and feel slightly better.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner at a chain restaurant. The most exciting part of the meal was the waitress's name tag. (It was, actually, quite a nice name).
- 7:00 PM: I decided to walk around the neighbourhood area. To my amazement, the area wasn’t terrible.
- 8:00 PM: Realisation that I packed an emergency stash of dark chocolate. I now feel great.
- 10:00 PM: Sleep.
Day 3: Denver Downtown, and the Epilogue of the Carpet
- 9:00 AM: Check out time. Goodbye, Extended Stay. Goodbye, beige walls. Goodbye… carpet. (I won't miss you).
- 9:30 AM: Drive to downtown Denver. It's a bigger city than I expected.
- 10:00 AM: I had planned to visit the Denver Art Museum but decided against it. Art is not my thing.
- 11:00 AM: I decided to stroll around downtown.
- 12:00 PM: I got lunch at a diner that I will not revisit.
- 1:00 PM: I decided to get a coffee at the local Starbucks.
- 2:00 PM: I felt I needed to head back home. The drive was long.
- 4:00 PM: Arrival at home.
Final Thoughts: The Carpet's Legacy
So, there you have it. My Extended Stay adventure in Westminster. It wasn't perfect. It wasn't glamorous. It wasn't always fun. But it was… me. And you know what? Despite the questionable carpet, the less-than-stellar dining, and the near-death experience on the rocks, I had moments of absolute, raw, brilliant joy. And that, my friends, is what makes a trip worth taking. (Just maybe, next time, I'll invest in a slightly nicer hotel. And some better shoes).
Roanoke Airport Hyatt Place: Luxury Near Valley View Mall!
So, what *is* this supposed to be about, anyway?
Honestly? I haven't the foggiest. We're going to wing it. See, that's kinda how I roll. Life, you know? It's just one giant improv show, and I'm usually the guy who forgets their lines and accidentally sets the stage on fire. So, expect the same here. Expect tangents. Expect me to contradict myself. Expect… brilliance? Maybe. Probably not. But definitely expect *something*.
Where do you even *start* when you're trying to be vague?
Ah, the age-old question of starting. It's the bane of my existence! Okay, I'll be honest, the starting point is often a complete and utter disaster. Like, remember that time I tried to paint my living room? Started with bright yellow. Ended up with a beige nightmare. I *hate* beige. It was like a beige apocalypse had descended upon my walls. The point is, don't overthink it. Just…jump. That’s usually my approach. Jump and hope you land on your feet, or at least don't break both ankles.
Do you ever worry about not being clear enough?
Do I worry? Honey, clarity is a stranger to me. Like, I try! I really do. But my brain? It's like a squirrel on a coffee bender. Constantly bouncing around, collecting shiny thoughts and burying them haphazardly. So yeah, sometimes, I'm not clear. It's a feature, not a bug, I swear!
Okay, fine. *IF* you had to pick a theme, what would it be?
Argh. Themes? Let's see... How About: "The Absurdity of Existence and My Complete Inability to Navigate It"? Okay, that's probably too long. How about "My Life is a Comedy of Errors (and I'm the Butt of the Joke)"? Nah, too depressing. Okay, okay... maybe a theme of 'Things I’ve Messed Up' with a subtext of 'and How I Maybe Lived to Tell the Tale' and another sub-subtext of 'Probably Wouldn't Do It Again, But...'
Let's talk about failures, because honestly, I'm expecting a lot of them. What's the *biggest* one you've got?
Oh, where to begin? I mean, there's the time I accidentally set fire to the microwave making popcorn... but that was just a minor Tuesday. The biggest one? Well, it's always changing, depending on where I'm looking. But… okay… let's go way, way back. There was this...this *thing* called "romance." And I… I failed miserably at it, multiple times. There was this one guy, let's call him… Kevin. Kevin and I were on a date, and I tried to be all mysterious and "deep." Ended up staring at the gravy boat for a solid five minutes and then asking Kevin if he believed in the existence of parallel universes. Gravy boats are not romantic. Kevin was not impressed. The date *ended* with me spilling wine all over his pristine white shirt. See? Fail. Just…fail. Still cringe.
Okay, so given all this, what's the *point* of all this? Like, what do you hope to achieve?
Oh, honey, there's no point! Just kidding. Mostly. I guess... I hope to make someone laugh. Maybe make someone think. More likely, I'll make someone roll their eyes and go, "Oh, *this* guy again." And that's okay too! Sometimes, the most important thing is just to acknowledge the mess and the absurdity. We're all a bit of a mess, right? I’d love if someone could relate and go, "Yeah, I've done that. I'm not alone in this crazy world!" That would be nice. That said, I'm really aiming for a nap. But first, let's see if we can make it through another question.
Are you, like, a writer? A comedian? What *are* you?
Good question! And the answer, my friend, is a resounding… *I have no freaking idea!* Sometimes I am funny. Sometimes I write. Sometimes I think I’m a culinary wizard, then I set the kitchen on fire. So, let's just say I'm a… a… professional *survivor* of my own life. And maybe, *maybe*, an accidental entertainer. That's about as good as I can do right now. If you’re looking for perfect, you’ve come to the wrong place.
What's the best way to get your attention?
Honestly? Two words: Coffee. And Pizza. Or, if you wanna be really effective, coffee *and* pizza. In that order. I’m easy. (or, at least, I'm easily bribed). Oh, and if you actually *read* all of this, that's pretty impressive too. I wouldn't blame you if you skimmed. I would do that, myself.
If there was one thing you could change about yourself, what would it be?
Hmm. That's a tough one. I mean, I could list a million things – my procrastination, my tendency to overthink, my… (insert a long list of issues here). But if I *had* to pick one, I'd probably wish for the ability to not embarrass myself so frequently. Or at least to *forget* the embarrassing moments as quickly as I experience them. Because the things I do, the things I say… the memory of them tends to linger. Like, that gravy boat incident... It was years ago, and *still* haunts me. So yeah. Less cringe. That's my goal. Maybe.
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