Van Horn Oasis: Knights Inn's Unbeatable Texas Escape!
Van Horn Oasis: Knights Inn - My Unfiltered Take on a Texas Escape (Y'all Ready?)
Okay, buckle up, buttercups! This ain't gonna be your typical, sanitized, corporate hotel review. This is me, after a few days at the Knights Inn in Van Horn, Texas – a place that promised an "Unbeatable Texas Escape." Did it deliver? Well, let's just say it was… an experience. And I'm about to spill ALL the tea. Or, you know, lukewarm coffee from the complimentary (and slightly questionable) breakfast bar.
Accessibility – Sort Of. (The Elevator… Let's Talk About the Elevator)
First things first, the practical stuff. They claim to be accessible. And yes, they do have an elevator. But it was… well, let’s put it this way: I’m pretty sure it was older than my grandma's dentures. It groaned, it shuddered, and honestly, I developed a minor phobia of getting stuck mid-floor. My knees were begging me to take the stairs, which, thankfully, were relatively easy to navigate. But for someone with mobility issues, I'd be very curious about the elevator's history.
On-site Accessible Restaurants/Lounges – Nope. (Bring Your Own Grub… Or Pray.)
The lack of accessible options around the hotel was a real drag. The Knights Inn itself doesn’t have any on-site restaurants - I'm talking no food trucks, no little snack shacks, nothing. It’s truly a motel kinda place. You're pretty much stuck with what you brought (or desperately hoping for a delivery.)
Internet – My Lifeline… Mostly.
Thank goodness for the free Wi-Fi! I mean, that’s a must-have nowadays. And thankfully, it mostly worked. I needed to get some work done, so I tried out the Internet access – LAN and Internet access – wireless options; I did get a bit frustrated trying to get them to work but eventually, it did the trick. I'm pretty sure that the Internet services were just the basic Internet though. At least it was better than a slow dial-up connection of days gone by. But there were a few moments of… let's call it "pixelated despair" during video calls. But hey, at least it was free. And the Wi-Fi in public areas did work, sort of, though I mostly stayed in my room, trying to escape the Texas sun and the lingering smell of… well, I'm not even sure what.
Things to Do/Ways to Relax – Texas Desert Edition… Or… Where's the Spa?
Okay, so the “relaxation” options weren't exactly plentiful. No Body scrub, no Body wrap, no fancy Spa. Forget the Sauna, the Spa/sauna, the Steamroom, and the Massage. As for the Pool with view? Let's just say my view was mostly of the parking lot. (Though on the plus side, some of the rooms have a view of that vast, empty Texas sky – which can be pretty impressive at sunset.)
The Fitness Center? Oh, Honey…
There was a Fitness center. Let's just say, if "fitness" is synonymous with “a treadmill that might still work” and “some dumbbells gathering dust”, then they nailed it. I gave it a go, and it gave me… a crick in my neck. It was a real Gym/fitness moment.
Cleanliness and Safety – The Sanitizing Shuffle (or, "Did They REALLY?"
Alright, the pandemic era has changed us all, right? I appreciated the effort. Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, and the Rooms sanitized between stays were all comforting buzzwords. There was even a Professional-grade sanitizing services. But… and there’s always a but… the devil is in the details. I really wasn't sure about the Hot water linen and laundry washing. It was a little hard to tell if they actually were using the Sterilizing equipment to their full potential: Did the cleaning crew just quickly spritz the bathroom, or did they really get down and dirty? I would have liked to have seen the Hand sanitizer available.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking – "Breakfast Included"… But At What Cost?
The Breakfast [buffet]… oh, the buffet. It included the Breakfast service, Coffee/tea in restaurant, and Western breakfast. This was where the "unbeatable" part of the escape fell flat. It consisted of pre-packaged pastries and… questionable coffee. I did grab a bottle of water, though. If I was a man of simpler needs, I guess you could say I was fine. I did, however, walk across the street and got some coffee from a place. I would have liked to have been able to have a Salad in restaurant, or Soup in restaurant, and maybe some Desserts in restaurant, but alas, it wasn't to be.
Services and Conveniences – The "We Tried" Collection
The Air conditioning in public area actually worked, good on them. The concierge service could be a little slow. I liked the Cash withdrawal, but I wasn't able to find the store.
For the Kids – Babysitting? Forget About It.
Okay, so "family-friendly" isn't exactly the Knights Inn's strong suit. No Babysitting service, no dedicated Kids facilities, no Kids meal. It's more like "adults only" with the occasional tired family passing through.
Getting Around – You're Gonna Need a Car, Sweetheart
Airport transfer? Nope. Taxi service? Not in this town, honey. You need a car here. The Car park [free of charge], and the Car park [on-site], were both adequate for our needs. The Car power charging station was a nice touch and maybe the biggest improvement.
Available in All Rooms – The Basics… and Some Questionable Choices
So, the rooms… They were… well, they were a room. And they had most of the basics: Air conditioning, Alarm clock (though I used my phone), Bathrobes (didn't see any), Bathtub (yay!), Blackout curtains (thank god for those, Texas sun!), and a Closet.
My Coffee/tea maker was a lifesaver. The Hair dryer was weak but it worked, and the Refrigerator kept my drinks cold! The Safe box was nice to put away the valuables. I was happy to see the Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Sofa, Telephone and the Towels. The Umbrella was nice because I felt as though it could have rained. There were Window that opens.
The "Uh-Oh" Moments:
- The Bed: My back is still recovering. The mattress was… well, let's just say it had seen better days. It was like sleeping on a bag of potatoes. I kept waking up with aches and pains.
- The Noise: The walls were thin. Very thin. I could hear everything – the guy next door snoring, the trucks rumbling down the highway all night, and a spirited game of charades that went on until 2 am.
- The Smell: There was this… lingering smell in my room. I couldn't quite place it, but it was a mix of stale air freshener and… something else. Possibly mold.
The Verdict – Is it an "Unbeatable Escape"? Nope.
Would I go back to the Knights Inn in Van Horn? Probably not, unless I was stranded in the middle of nowhere, desperate for a place to crash. It's not a bad place, per se. It's just… basic. It's clean-ish. It's cheap-ish. It's… there.
But an "unbeatable escape"? Not even close. Unless your idea of an "unbeatable escape" involves questionable coffee, a creaky elevator, and the distinct possibility of catching a whiff of something you'd rather not. Maybe, just maybe, next time I'll spring for the slightly more expensive place.
Dexter's Hidden Gem: Unbeatable Travelodge Deal!
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because you're about to get a REAL Knights Inn Van Horn experience. Forget flawless itineraries, we're going for "lived it, loved it (maybe), and probably still smelling vaguely of stale coffee." This is going to be less a schedule, and more a survival guide with a healthy dose of existential questioning.
Knights Inn Van Horn, TX: A Love Letter to the Unexpected (and Possibly Mold)
Day 1: Arrival & the Existential Dread of the Desert
- 14:00 - Arrival: Okay, so the GPS swore this was "right off the highway." Liar. Turns out "right off the highway" means battling a rogue tumbleweed and a general sense of "where the hell am I?" The Knights Inn sign? Bless its neon heart, flickering like the last dying embers of hope. The exterior? Well, let's just say I've seen more vibrant cemeteries.
- 14:15 - Check-in Chaos: The front desk clerk seemed…preoccupied. Pretty sure I interrupted a riveting phone call. Ended up with a key card that smelled faintly of stale cigarettes and a room number that felt eerily significant (Room 13? Really?).
- 14:30 - Room Reconnaissance: Oh boy. This might need a hazmat suit. The carpet? Questionable. The TV? At least it turns on, even if the channels seem to be stuck in a time loop of the early 2000s. The AC unit sounds like a dying walrus. Okay, deep breaths. This is what road trips are all about… right?
- 15:00 - The Van Horn Vibe: Wander. Walk around the property, the heat is intense.
- 15:30 - Afternoon Snack Time for a snack and coffee from the vending machine, which, thankfully, seems to function well.
- 16:00 - "Contemplation Corner" (aka Staring at the Desert): Found a rickety picnic table outside my room. Spent a solid hour just…staring. The desert. It's vast. It's hot. It's filled with existential dread. Honestly, the desert landscape is stunning and scary at the same time.
- 18:00 - Dinner Disaster (or Victory?): Drove into the "town" of Van Horn. Found a diner whose name I've already forgotten. Order: The "Big Texan Special" (likely the only thing available). It was… something. Greasy, filling, and probably the reason my blood pressure doubled. But hey, is it memorable? Absolutely. Am I still thinking about it? Sadly, yes.
- 20:00 - The Evening Routine: Head back to the room.
- 21:00 - Bedtime: Try to get a good sleep, hoping there will be no issues.
Day 2: Desert Delights, and Maybe a Little Regret
- 07:00 - The Sunrise Surprise: Okay, maybe the desert isn't so terrible. Woke up to a sunrise that painted the sky in colors I didn't even know existed. Worth the questionable carpet, I guess.
- 08:00 - Breakfast Attempt: The "complimentary breakfast" at the Knights Inn. Let's just say I was prepared. Stale bagels, pre-packaged muffins with a shelf life older than me, and instant coffee that tasted like sadness. But hey, at least there were napkins. (Small victories, people, small victories).
- 08:30 - Road Trip Thoughts: The road trip itself, I'm driving through a scenic route!
- 12:00 - Reflection It's interesting, taking your time to travel is an important part of any trip,
- 19:00 - The Return to Knights Inn and the Final Verdict: Check in again, one last time to the room, the key is the same. Overall, there are some things that will always keep me feeling unsure.
- 20:00 - Farewell to Van Horn: I head towards the highway, leaving the hotel.
Observations & Ramblings:
- The People: Everyone in Van Horn was… interesting. Friendly, weathered, and seemed to have stories etched into their faces. They probably all thought I looked like a confused city slicker, and, well, they wouldn't be wrong.
- The Soundtrack: The constant hum of the AC, the occasional creak of the door, and the distant rumble of passing trucks. It all blended into a strange symphony of roadside Americana.
- The "Luxury" Aspect: Let's be honest. "Luxury" is not a word that remotely applies to the Knights Inn. The water pressure was a joke, the Wi-Fi was spotty at best, and I'm pretty sure I saw a cockroach the size of a small chihuahua. But you know what? It's got character. And sometimes, that’s enough.
Final Verdict:
Would I recommend the Knights Inn Van Horn? Well…that depends. If you're looking for polished perfection, run far, far away. If you crave authentic, slightly grimy, and utterly memorable experiences? Then buckle up, buttercup. This could be the road trip of your life. Just bring your own coffee, a strong stomach, and a healthy sense of humor. And maybe some bug spray. Seriously, that cockroach…
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Van Horn Oasis: Knights Inn's Unbeatable Texas Escape! FAQs (Because Let's Be Real, You Probably Need Them)
Okay, seriously, is Van Horn *actually* an oasis? Like, is there something besides tumbleweeds and existential dread?
What about the Knights Inn itself? Is it... y'know... habitable?
Is the breakfast buffet as legendary as the internet claims? (Is there even a breakfast *buffet*?)
What's the deal with the staff? Are they friendly? Do they speak English? (Just kidding... mostly.)
Is there anything to *do* in Van Horn besides, you know, stop at the Knights Inn?
Did I see a cockroach in the room? Be honest.
Would you recommend the Knights Inn, Van Horn? Be brutally honest.
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