Escape to Cleveland: Unbeatable Deals at Extended Stay America Suites!
Escape to Cleveland: Extended Stay America Suites - A Real (and Somewhat Chaotic) Review
Alright, folks, let's be real. This isn't some glossy, perfectly polished travel blog. This is me, straight-up spilling the beans on my recent stay at Extended Stay America Suites in Cleveland. And yeah, it wasn't all sunshine and roses. But hey, that's life, right? Buckle up, because we're diving in deep… and maybe getting a little lost along the way.
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- Meta Description: Honest and detailed review of Extended Stay America Suites in Cleveland, OH. Covering everything from accessibility and cleanliness to amenities and dining, with a healthy dose of real-world experience (and a few quirks!). Find out if it's the right fit for your getaway!
First Impressions (and the Struggle is Real)
Okay, so Cleveland. Let’s just say it wasn’t exactly on my bucket list. Needed a place to stay, and Extended Stay popped up. I was looking for something… functional. Not necessarily sexy. Which, let's be honest, pretty much sums up the vibe of the place. The exterior? Functional. The parking? Thankfully free of charge. HUGE plus. Got to love that. The check-in? Annoyingly slow, but hey, Contactless check-in/out. was available. I guess that was supposed to be faster. But there were too many damn procedures, I'm telling you!
Accessibility & Whoa, Things Got Messy
This is important, so listen up. I'm not disabled, I am a human. However, I did notice they had facilities for disabled guests. But I can't personally vouch for the accessibility of the rooms or the entire property. I did see an elevator, which is a good sign. Hopefully, everything is up to snuff for those who need it. I've got to give props for trying to be inclusive.
Rooms – The Good, The Bad, and the Microwave
My room? Air-conditioned, thank the travel gods. A desk (for… working. Ugh). A refrigerator, which was a lifesaver for my late-night pizza cravings. Free WiFi in the room, which is a MUST. I think the biggest selling point for this place is that Internet access – wireless and *internet access – LAN *(if you're into that prehistoric thing)* are both available, and Free WiFi in all rooms! Okay, so it was a bit of a mixed bag in my room, tbh, but all the amenities were there and I liked having them. And now for the bad…
The room itself was… well, let's call it "clean enough." There was a bit of a lingering smell of, I think, "industrial cleaner." But hey, at least it looked clean, right? And the room sanitization opt-out available, which made me feel slightly better! Rooms sanitized between stays. They say the rooms are sanitized, so fingers crossed those anti-viral cleaning products actually do their job. There was daily housekeeping, but honestly, I'm pretty sure they just made the bed and replaced the towels. I'm not complaining. I would have loved a bathrobe and slippers and maybe even a scale, but I’m not sure they would have fit the vibe.
Breakfast – The Myth, The Legend, The… Cereal?
Alright, here’s where the story gets kinda tragic. Now, the website mentioned breakfast. Okay, it was advertised as a breakfast takeaway service, but, in reality, it was basically single-serve cereal, instant oatmeal, and pre-packaged muffins. The coffee/tea maker was great, but the coffee was… well, let's just say it tasted like sadness. The bottle of water was a welcome touch! It's no Breakfast [buffet]", but you get what you paid for, folks.
Dining & Drinking (or Lack Thereof)
Forget about a fancy meal. Forget a salad in restaurant or a soup in restaurant. Oh well… no A la carte in restaurant here. No Happy hour. The hotel did have some restaurants but the only option for food was a snack bar. Maybe I could have gotten alcohol at a bar, but I wasn't holding my breath.
Services & Conveniences – A Mixed Bag!
There’s a convenience store, so I could grab a beer. Daily housekeeping was great, but the internet sometimes was a joke. The concierge (if there was one) was MIA. The laundry service was a lifesaver. The car park [free of charge] saved me a fortune! Cash withdrawal was easy using an ATM. They even had facilities for disabled guests, which is a plus. All in all, pretty meh with services.
Things to Do (Besides Staring at the Walls)
Let's face it, the hotel itself isn't exactly a destination. There was no spa, no sauna, no spa/sauna, no steamroom, no swimming pool, no swimming pool [outdoor], no Gym/fitness, and no Fitness center. No massage, which always stings. The hotel was boring. But hey, Cleveland itself has stuff to do, right?
Cleanliness & Safety – The Bare Minimum
I appreciated the effort, honestly. Hand sanitizer stations were everywhere. The fire extinguisher was in the hallway, and the smoke detector in my room. They all looked ready, which is reassuring. Honestly, the safety/security feature seemed fine.
For the Kids (or, More Accurately, Not For the Kids)
If you're traveling with little ones, this might not be your first choice. There was a Family/child friendly atmosphere, but barely. No Kids facilities, no Babysitting service, and no Kids meal.
Getting Around – Driving is Mandatory
Car park [free of charge] was fantastic. Otherwise, you're pretty much reliant on cabs or ride-sharing. Not many transit options.
Final Verdict – Functional, But Not Fabulous
So, would I recommend Extended Stay America Suites? Look, it served its purpose. It was a clean, affordable place to crash in Cleveland. But if you're looking for a luxurious getaway with a ton of amenities? Look elsewhere. If you want a functional, no-frills place to sleep, and you don't mind the occasional whiff of industrial cleaner, then it might work for you. It’s not perfect, but it’s honest, and sometimes, that’s all you need. My suggestion? Lower expectations and you won't be disappointed! If you're going to Cleveland, and you don't want to spend a fortune on accommodation, then book it (but definitely bring some snacks).
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Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't going to be your pristine, "trip of a lifetime" brochure. This is gonna be the REAL DEAL, a messy, glorious, and hopefully hilarious account of surviving and maybe thriving in Middleburg Heights, Ohio. And it all starts… at Extended Stay America. God help us.
Day 1: Arrival, Existential Dread, and the Quest for a Decent Coffee
- 1:00 PM: Arrive at Cleveland Hopkins International Airport (CLE). Okay, so far so good. No lost luggage, no screaming toddlers on the plane (yet). The rental car? A slightly-too-bright-yellow Kia Soul. I'm calling it "Lemon Drop." I'll probably regret this.
- 1:45 PM: Navigate the labyrinthine airport exit, battling the urge to just give up and live in a baggage carousel. Finally, freedom! Then, onto the highway to Middleburg Heights. My GPS, bless her simulated soul, keeps yelling at me to "Bear right!" I swear she's mocking me.
- 2:30 PM: Check into Extended Stay America. Now, listen. I'm not expecting the Ritz, but the faint smell of… something… in the air is concerning. Is it stale air freshener masking a deeper problem? Or just… life? The room itself is bland, beige, and evokes a profound sense of existential dread. I swear I saw a family of dust bunnies give me the side-eye.
- 3:00 PM: Immediate goal: Coffee. Vital. Must. Have. Coffee. Wander aimlessly in search of caffeine. Discover the local options: a gas station that looks like it hasn't been updated since the Reagan administration and a Starbucks. Of course. Settling for the Starbucks. The barista’s name tag said “Destiny,” and she looked like she was deeply regretting her chosen career path. I feel you, Destiny.
- 3:30 PM: Return to the room, coffee in hand, and collapse onto the surprisingly firm bed. Contemplate the meaning of life. Decide it involves a large pizza and avoiding the TV that’s probably seen more episodes of Jerry Springer than I have.
- 5:00 PM: Pizza acquired. The pizza place, aptly named "Pizza Palace" (original, I know), delivered a greasy, cheesy masterpiece. Comfort food achieved. Slight improvement in mood.
- 7:00 PM: Attempt to work. The Wi-Fi is… temperamental. This is going to be a problem. Mentally estimate how many minutes I'll spend fighting with connectivity until I give up and watch terrible reality TV.
- 9:00 PM: Decide reality TV is actively bad for the brain. Fall asleep watching a documentary about… the history of staplers? Don't judge me. Exhaustion is a powerful drug.
Day 2: The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and a Deep Dive into Emotional Turmoil
- 8:00 AM: Wake up. The smell is still… lingering, but I'm alive! Caffeine is now my blood. Hit the gas station coffee pot (again). This time, I know what I’m getting into.
- 9:00 AM: Head to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Okay, this is where it gets interesting. The Hall is a visual and audio assault in the best way possible. Seeing Elvis's jumpsuit and handwritten lyrics? Goosebumps. Listening to snippets of the iconic songs reminds me of all the times my parents fought in the car. Ah, nostalgia!
- 9:00 AM - 1:00 PM: Spend roughly 4 hours in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (Yes, I got there a little late, but I couldn’t find my car keys for ages). Completely engrossed, wandering through the exhibits. (Okay, fine, I got a little too engrossed. Lost in the moment. Found myself weeping silently in front of a John Lennon exhibit. Dammit.
- 1:00 PM: The Rock Hall closes, and I come tumbling back into real life. The reality of my own existence – the fact that I’m probably slightly depressed, not sure where my life is going, alone in a motel room in Middleburg Heights – hits me like a ton of bricks.
- 1:30 PM: Lunch. Head into a diner, a local institution, for more comfort food. Order a gigantic burger and some greasy fries. I devour it until the waiter asks, "Is everything okay, honey?"
- 2:30 PM: Return to the room. The room is beige, bland, and perfect for a good cry. The dust bunnies are judging me again. I don’t care. I’m going to embrace the despair. Just a little bit.
- 3:00 PM: Lie on the bed. Start re-watching a sad British comedy show. Start imagining all the things I've done wrong in my life. Contemplate the meaning of life. Consider the merits of writing a novel where the main character is just… a dust bunny.
- 5:00 PM: Snap out of it. Vow to be more productive.
- 6:00 PM: Attempt to work. Wi-Fi still a pain. Give up and call it a day, promising tomorrow will be better.
- 8:00 PM: Order takeout Chinese. Consume enough MSG to fuel a small rocket ship. Watch terrible reality TV. Repeat.
Day 3: The Art Museum and The Long Goodbye
- 8:00 AM: Attempt to eat breakfast. The one thing I packed for breakfast was a banana. The banana exploded.
- 9:00 AM: Head to the Cleveland Museum of Art. I've chosen to embrace the art. Immerse myself in culture. Absorb beautiful things.
- 9:30 AM - 12:30 PM: In the art museum. The art museum is glorious. The collection is fantastic. (My favorite part? The ancient armor. Seriously, I could have spent all day there.) wandering through the various galleries. Lost in thought again. (Maybe the dust bunnies were onto something.) The museum is much more pleasant, and I feel refreshed.
- 12:30 PM: Lunch. Have leftovers.
- 2:00 PM: Begin the long process of packing. Cleaning up the room. Check out from the hotel. The room is beige. The room is bland. I’m leaving. And, I’m strangely sad to go.
- 3:00 PM: Head for the airport and Lemon Drop.
- 4:00 PM: Return Lemon Drop. Make small talk with Lemon Drop. “Did you enjoy the ride? Did you feel a little guilty about the color? I hope so.”
- 5:00 PM: Flight. Wait out the flight.
- 8:00 PM: Home. Back to my usual existence. I hope the dust bunnies are doing well.
Reflections:
Middleburg Heights. A microcosm of the human condition. A place where a sad artist can find solace in greasy pizza, a Rock Hall, and a slightly-too-bright-yellow Kia Soul. Extended Stay? Perfectly adequate. You can’t change the situation, but you can experience it. Not a bad little trip, all in all.
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Escape to Cleveland: Extended Stay America – The Real Deal (Or Is It?) - A Messy FAQ
Okay, Cleveland? Really? Why Extended Stay America? Are we talking... rock bottom?
Alright, alright, let's be honest. Cleveland isn't exactly Paris. But hear me out... it depends on your *vibe*, right? Extended Stay America? Yeah, the budget-friendly siren song. And honestly? Sometimes that's exactly what you need. I needed a place to crash after a disastrous family visit. I mean, the Thanksgiving turkey was drier than the Sahara, and my Aunt Carol wouldn't stop asking about my love life! I wasn't looking for luxury; I was looking for a quiet, *cheap* escape. And Extended Stay, with its "unbeatable deals," was practically whispering my name. Don't get me wrong, the idea of an "unbeatable deal" always makes me a little suspicious. It usually involves… well, let us just say you get what you pay for. But after that Thanksgiving, "unbeatable" sounded pretty good.
What's the actual "deal" with these deals? Like, are we talking hidden fees galore?
Okay, let's dissect this. The deals are... well, *decent*. They're often better than a regular hotel, especially if you're staying for a week or more. They really lean into that "extended stay" thing. I do remember seeing a slightly hidden pet fee. Sneaky devils! But, and this is important, *read the fine print*. Seriously. Don't be like me and assume. I did a quick scroll, but then I just... booked it. And then I ended up paying a little extra for parking, which, admittedly, was my fault. But hey, lesson learned. Always double-check!
The rooms. Let's talk rooms. Are we talking prison cell chic or... tolerable?
Tolerable, mostly. Okay, *mostly*. Think of it this way: It's functional. A bed (hopefully one that won't spontaneously combust... although, with my luck…), a kitchenette (more on that later!), and a bathroom that, with a little bleach, is probably safe. It's not winning any interior design awards. The decor is... minimalist. Let's call it "Early American Austerity." Think beige. Lots of beige. And questionable artwork. Seriously, one time I saw a print that looked suspiciously like a child’s crayon drawing. Which, I guess, is a mood. But hey, it's clean(ish). And after being around my family, the beige felt kind of... calming. I swear, it's not a place to, like, *live*. But for a few nights? Survavable.
Kitchenette! Tell me about that! Can I actually cook? Like, not just microwave noodles?
Ah, the kitchenette! This is where things get interesting. You *can* cook. You *could* even attempt something more ambitious than instant ramen. There's a fridge, a stovetop (usually a two-burner, so don't plan on roasting a whole turkey... unless you're *feeling* particularly ambitious), and a few basic utensils. Okay, let me tell you a story, the time I tried to make breakfast... I was feeling confident. I’d managed to survive a week of family shenanigans, so I thought, “I am Iron Chef today!” I bought eggs, bacon, and a skillet. And then… the smoke alarm went off. And not just a little beep. Full-on ear-splitting siren. I had to open all the windows, and the smell of burnt bacon lingered for *days*. So yeah, cook with caution. Maybe stick to toast. Or just order takeout. Which I ultimately did. My culinary skills did not improve.
Amenities? Is that *really* a word they use? What about free breakfast!?
Okay, let's play the amenities game. Gym? Nope. Pool? Absolutely not. Fancy lobby with complimentary fruit-infused water? Ha! Breakfast? Prepare yourself. It's usually a sad selection of pre-packaged muffins, instant oatmeal, and maybe some coffee that tastes suspiciously like it was brewed in a washing machine. Honestly, I prefer a microwaveable breakfast sandwich from the gas station down the street. That is not a compliment. It's a reflection of my *very* low standards while in extended stay. They *do* have wifi, which is vital unless you want to fall back into the clutches of your family from an earlier visit.
The Location. How’s that? Are we talking 'sketchy' central?
Location, location, location, right? Well...it *varies*. Some Extended Stay Americas are in perfectly fine locations, close to highways and whatnot. Others... well, let's just say I've learned to trust my instincts. Check the reviews! People often mention the neighborhood vibe. And when in doubt, do a quick Google Maps Street View. I once ended up at one that was next to a 24-hour laundromat, which, I suppose, could be a good thing, but it's also… a strong *feeling*.
So, overall, is it worth it? Should I "Escape to Cleveland" with Extended Stay America?
Honestly? It's a trade-off. You're trading luxury for affordability. You're trading convenience for potential... well, let's call it *rustic charm*. But if you're on a budget, if you just need a place to crash after a particularly grueling experience, or if you appreciate the subtle beauty of beige, then yeah, Extended Stay America in Cleveland *might* be worth it. Just lower your expectations. A lot. And maybe bring your own coffee. And a smoke detector. And a sense of humor. Because let's face it, life is messy, and so is Extended Stay America. But sometimes, that's exactly what you need. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go look for that crayon print on eBay...
Any Pro-Tips? Like, seriously, any at all?
Okay, pro-tips. First, bring your own pillow. Seriously. The pillows are... well, they're there. Second, pack some earplugs. You never know what noises you'll encounter. Third, and this is important, familiarize yourself with the local pizza scene. Ohio has some *amazing* pizza. And finally, and this is the most important tip of all: low expectations. Embrace the mess, the quirks, the slightly depressing decor. Just roll with it. And if you find yourself staring at that crayon artwork, wondering what went wrong in your life, just laugh. Because you're in Cleveland, at Extended Stay America, and at least you're not dealing with your Aunt Carol in a dryInstant Hotel Search
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