
Salem's BEST Hotel? Unbelievable Howard Johnson Deal!
Salem's BEST Hotel? Unbelievable Howard Johnson Deal! – A Really Honest Review (Brace Yourself)
Okay, so the website promised "Unbelievable Howard Johnson Deal!" and, well, the deal was pretty unbelievable. Like, "how are they making any money?" unbelievable. But was it the BEST hotel in Salem? That's the question, isn't it? And honestly? It's complicated. Let's dive in, shall we? Buckle up, because this ain't gonna be a sterile, bullet-pointed review.
First Impressions & The Accessibility Angle (Which, Frankly, Was a Relief)
Pulling up to the hotel, the exterior wasn't exactly screaming "luxury," but hey, the price was right. The parking situation? Car park [free of charge] – a huge win! Found a spot no problem. Now, I'm not disabled, but I always pay attention to accessibility. Wheelchair accessible was definitely a big check in the plus column. The lobby, thankfully, was easily navigable. No crazy stairs or narrow doorways. Elevator? Check. Score one for not having to lug my bags up a gazillion flights of stairs. They had Facilities for disabled guests listed, so that's a good sign, though I didn’t personally need them. Check-in/out [express] was offered, but the line wasn't express. Took a few minutes, but the front desk staff were friendly enough. Front desk [24-hour] gives you peace of mind, especially if you're a night owl like me.
The Room (Where Things Got A Little More Interesting)
Okay, the room. "Perfectly Adequate" is the phrase that comes to mind. Air conditioning? Thank the heavens, yes. It was a scorcher outside. Wi-Fi [free]? Absolutely. And not just in the room, blessedly, in the lobby too. Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! – they weren't lying! I need my internet, folks. Internet access – wireless was, you know, essential. The bed was comfy, the Blackout curtains were a godsend for sleeping in. You also have Desk, Ironing facilities and there's a Closet to dump your stuff in.
Now, to be brutally honest, some details felt a little… dated. The decor? Let's just say it wasn't exactly minimalist chic. However, it was clean. And, crucially, the bathroom had Hot water and, as the listing says, a Separate shower/bathtub, which is a must. Toiletries like the included shower gel were good, but, honestly, everything was a bit… meh, as expected.
The Cleanliness & Safety Dance (Because, You Know, 2024)
This is where I started feeling pretty good. They were taking hygiene seriously. Rooms sanitized between stays. Daily disinfection in common areas. Hand sanitizer everywhere. Staff trained in safety protocol was also reassuring. They'd actually removed shared pens and stuff, which is smart. Anti-viral cleaning products? They're in fashion, but if they work, I'm grateful. It felt pretty safe, really. Smoke alarms and Fire extinguisher made me feel a bit calmer about the building.
The Dining Experience (Or, "Where My Expectations Were Briefly Shattered Then Reassembled")
Here's where things get really interesting. The website touted a Restaurants, and I was fantasizing about a lovely dinner after a day of Salem sightseeing.
The restaurant was, well, it was there. The ambiance? Let's call it "functional." They had a Bar, which was a plus. Breakfast [buffet] was promised. And there was a breakfast, which was fine-- Western breakfast. There was also an Asian breakfast, too, for some international flavors. The Coffee shop, however, was shut down.
Now, the big experience: I ordered a Salad in restaurant. And… it was a disaster. Lettuce that didn't scream "fresh". Tomatoes that weren't red, they were pale orange. The dressing? Pretty sure it was from a large plastic container. The salad situation was a low point.
But I was hungry, so I ate. I also ordered a Bottle of water. Which, you know, came in a bottle. They also have Poolside bar, not that it was open.
The Relaxing Stuff (Or, "Were My Relaxation Dreams Dashed?")
This is where my dreams took another tiny hit. I was Things to do, ways to relax. The website had listed a whole spa and pool complex. Swimming pool [outdoor] – Yes! The problem? It looked, felt, and smelled a bit too chlorine-y.
The bottom line? The Pool with view was not a view, but of a parking lot. I'm guessing the Body scrub, Body wrap, Fitness center, Foot bath, Gym/fitness, Massage, Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom (and all those sweet amenities) were nowhere to be found.
Services & Stuff (The Useful Bits)
They have Dry cleaning, which I didn't use, and Laundry service for longer stays. There's a Convenience store, which is a bonus, and a Cash withdrawal near the hotel.
For the Kids (Or, "What if I Had Little Witches in Tow?")
They’re pretty Family/child friendly. Not that there was anything specifically for kids present, besides an opportunity to get them tired running around, given so much open space everywhere.
Getting Around
They had Airport transfer. I didn’t need it, but it’s a nice option. Car park [free of charge] – again, huge win.
Overall Verdict (The "Unbelievable Howard Johnson Deal" Revisited)
Okay, so was it the BEST hotel in Salem? Probably not. But for the price, and given the various pluses, it was an okay hotel, I had a safe stay. I'm trying to stay positive And it's nice that they're trying to cover every single need..
Pros:
- The price! Unbeatable.
- Cleanliness and safety protocols.
- Free parking and Wi-Fi.
- Accessibility features.
- Decent-enough bed.
Cons:
- The restaurant (and especially the salad).
- The lack of amenities.
- Decor is dated.
- The pool situation.
- Some minor details could be newer
Would I stay again? Honestly? Maybe. If I was on a seriously tight budget and wanted a clean, safe place to crash, it's a good option. If I was looking for luxury, romance, or a spa day? Absolutely not.
Final Thoughts: This hotel is a mixed bag. It offers a basic, clean, and safe stay at an unbelievable price. It’s not fancy, and it doesn't have all the bells and whistles, but it gets the job done. Just manage your expectations, maybe pack a snack (or two), and you'll be fine. And hey, at least they're trying!
RumFish Beach: St. Pete's Paradise Found (TradeWinds Resort)!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into my (and you, virtually!) trip to the Howard Johnson Hotel & Conference Center by Wyndham Salem, Virginia. Expect less "precision itinerary" and more "what the heck did I actually DO there?" Let’s get this glorious, slightly disheveled show on the road:
Day 1: Arrival & Mild Panic (AKA: The "Did I Pack Underwear?" Phase)
- 1:00 PM: Officially land in…well, I was supposed to get there by 1, but let's be real, the flight was delayed. Blame the wind, the pilot’s ex-wife, whatever. Arriving at the Salem Hojo. First impression? Hmm, not exactly the Ritz. More like…a solid, dependable…orange? The building is a beautiful orange color.
- 1:30 PM: Check-in. The desk clerk had a look like she'd seen things – probably mostly confused tourists and families arguing over the continental breakfast. She was nice enough, though. I'm pretty sure she chuckled when I asked if the free Wi-Fi would handle my Instagram dependency.
- 2:00 PM: Room exploration. Ah, the sweet embrace of… beige. Beige walls, beige carpet, beige… everything. It's fine. It's functional. There's a TV! I’m a sucker for a good hotel TV. Immediately tested with a random daytime show. My standards fall quickly when I’m traveling. The important thing is the bed. It seems somewhat clean so I'm happy.
- 2:30 PM: Unpack (or rather, the attempt to unpack). I rummage through my bag, realizing I forgot my… sigh…I’m not even gonna say it. Let's just say I'm making a mad dash to the local drugstore later. Hopefully, there's one nearby.
- 3:00 PM: Decided to hit the outdoor pool, or so I thought. I looked at the dirty glass door. I heard the sounds of children screaming. I had to think twice. No. After all, I'm here to relax and unwind. I decided to skip that.
- 3:30 PM: The best thing I have discovered so far are the snacks that I brought. I'll try to find a good place to dine.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner at a nearby restaurant (TBD, depending on my rapidly approaching hunger levels). I'm picturing classic American fare… burgers, maybe fries. Maybe even a mountain of gravy. One can dream.
Day 2: Salem Shenanigans & Overthinking Room Decor
- 9:00 AM: Wake up. (Hopefully, not too hungover from the night before, depending on the aforementioned dinner plans). The room seems even beige-er in the morning light. Contemplate whether or not to rearrange the furniture. I probably won't.
- 9:30 AM: Breakfast at the "Continental Breakfast." This is where things get real. I'm braced for the standard: stale pastries, watery coffee, and a general feeling that the food has been sitting there since the Carter administration. But hey, it’s free. And, I tell myself, "it's all part of the experience, the authenticity of it all!"
- 10:00 AM: Salem Town Exploration! The reason I came. It's time to see what Salem has to offer.
- 11:00 AM: Back in the hotel. I have to do laundry. I'm hoping there are laundry machines to avoid the dirty clothes and all that.
- 12:00 PM: Lunch nearby after laundry.
- 1:00 PM: After lunch, back in my room. Contemplating on the interior design of my room. You know what would really tie this room together!? No, nevermind.
- 3:00 PM: The need for coffee is real. It is that point in the day where all I can think about is a caffeine hit. I will try to not go out. I will try to stay in my hotel room.
Day 3: Farewell, Salem, and Deeply Unpacked Bags (Maybe)
- 8:00 AM: Another brutal assault on the continental breakfast. At this point, I'm a seasoned veteran. I have my strategy down pat. Avoid the obvious, load up on the fruit (if it looks edible), and hope the coffee is at least slightly caffeinated.
- 9:00 AM: Last-minute souvenir hunt? Definitely! I'm thinking something…uniquely Salem. Maybe a commemorative t-shirt with an airbrushed picture of the hotel? Doubtful.
- 10:00 AM: Check-out. And hopefully, the clerk doesn't ask if I enjoyed my stay too much.
- 11:00 AM: Head to the airport. Goodbye Salem!
- Late Afternoon: Back home. Unpacking. Ah, the sweet, sweet return of the un-beige life. Will I have fun? Who knows, I hope so!
Final Thoughts (and Post-Trip Ramblings)
Look, the Howard Johnson Salem wasn't a five-star resort. It was… a perfectly fine place to lay my weary head after a day of exploring. It’s the imperfections, the little quirks, the unexpected moments (like discovering that the TV remote actually worked), that make these trips truly memorable. Would I go back? Maybe. Depends if they've updated that beige, and whether or not they've gotten a better coffee machine. But hey, that's travel: a messy, unpredictable, and often hilarious adventure. Embrace the chaos, people. Embrace the beige. And for the love of all that is holy, pack your underwear. You can thank me later.
Waikiki Paradise Found: Regency on Beachwalk's Unbelievable Ocean Views!
Is this really a "BEST" hotel? Like, *best* best? I'm skeptical.
What's the deal with the pool? I saw some pictures…
How's the location? Is it easy to get to the attractions?
The rooms... What are they like?
Speaking of breakfast, what's the deal there?
Anything I should REALLY know before booking?
Seriously, is there anything I should REALLY, REALLY brace myself for?


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